Beautiful Distraction

Why do I do this?

Why do I listen to a radio station that plays songs that remind me of what it’s like to be in love, so deeply in love with someone that it’s like an ache in your heart when they’re not there?

Why do I sit here in front of the computer and I sometimes cannot think clearly, or do my work properly? I’m so distracted all I can do is write and read things I’ve written over the last six months. I’m torn between what I know I must do and what I want to do.

And is there that much difference between a “calling” and a “distraction?” For, what else is a distraction but a passion, something we are compelled to do, and something we cannot live without. Sometimes I have to write. It’s like breathing. Without it, sometimes I feel like I can’t exist in this world, like I am invisible.

The only time I feel truly alive is when I acknowledge my existence through writing.

Angel

Spend all your time waiting for that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
Theres always some reason
To feel not good enough
And its hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty
oh and weight-less and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

~Sarah McLachlan~